Posts tagged ‘sink to the bottom’

Crescent Moon, Rising Sun – On little by little, one step at a time.

This post is a reflection on my experience. At one point, I had become fully engaged in multiple goals, personal and professional – maybe too many. I had always been a dreamer, and the type of person who felt guilty if there was a slot of time not filled with something productive. Multitasking sounded more than acceptable, and I engaged in it as well. It was right of my alley. I put a lot of pressure on myself over the past 10 years to accomplish everything that I thought “was due.” Some things I did not accomplish, some I started and decided to stop because the time was not right for them to be fruitful, and others, I decided to put aside for good. At times, it felt as if I was swimming at high-speed not to miss the boat that was already gone, or so I thought. I tried to catch up with my dreams and with time. It was a matter of time before the crash.

I had to learn to slow down and live one day at a time. I discarded the word multitasking and adopted a new philosophy of living – one thing at a time, one day at a time. I stopped blaming “others and the situation” and accepted the truth – that I am the only one in control, and the one who sets the pace. I had to go back and retrain myself in various areas. I also learned to depend more on God and less on my vision of things, although I don’t consider myself a religious person in the popular meaning of the word. This process strengthened my faith and patience. I saw that I could express more little by little, step by step. I enjoy the task at hand more, and am able to widen my vision; I see more now. I trust God’s process more.

I was a heavy planner and I thrived on multiple lists both short-term and long-term, many times as far as a 10-year plan. I am not suggesting that planning is bad, on the contrary, it is healthy; obsessive or too much structured planning is not the best choice. I had to understand that life’s plans can change in a split of a second – it is called life. Life doesn’t get in the way, it just is. It is called living. I plan now for living, not for the sake of achieving. Some of you might argue that part of living is achieving, and I agree. I say that achieving without living is pointless.

Now, I look at a crescent moon slowly gaining its fullness. I look at the rising sun after the darkness, and I know that all happens one day at a time. All.

 

The Worst and Best Motivator

This shot was taken in a very lonely road goin...

This shot was taken in a very lonely road going outside of Sapa in north Vietnam. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Chances are you won’t make it.” – I consider that phrase the worst and best motivator.

Why?  Because it can motivate you to fight against the odds, inspire you to prove them wrong, and fuel your heart; but on the other hand, it can take all that away from you, demoralize you and send you to the bottom of the barrel.  It is true that many times, it depends on where it comes from – on who said it; however, the attitude you choose is up to you.  Either fight back and hold on to your dream or sink to the bottom.

Ah, but is not that easy.  When you hear that phrase after many trials and failures it becomes heavier, and your beat up vulnerable heart and spirit has weakened to a point where you think that you have no strength to prove them wrong, to fight against the odds or to keep holding on.  It is very different if that was said to you when you started your journey, isn’t it?  All fresh, with tons of energy, exuberant and smelling of soon to be success, drunk on the juices of the big dream cocktail and ready to fight against the odds, prove them wrong, and hold on with your teeth if necessary.  What happened?

The journey happened.  It is all part of the journey, the trials, the failures, the tiredness, the broken heart, the broken dreams, the broken spirit …  Until you understand that all is part of the journey, you won’t be able to keep going.  It is the path that takes you there, but only you can follow it.