Posts tagged ‘Life’

On Saying Goodbye

Losing a loved one is never easy. Whether a partner in life, a friend, or family member, it is one of the most painful experiences. Having to say goodbye when one is not ready is devastating, and it may render a person numb out of an unexpected dose of pain. One of the secondary themes in my novel The Five-dollar Miracle is the loss of a spouse, and the feelings and emotions that go with it.

Last year I experienced the loss of loved ones, and just a few weeks after I had finished writing a chapter dealing with this topic, a friend died unexpectedly leaving her partner experiencing the feelings of pain, loss, desolation, and so many other emotions that can only be described by someone who has gone through it.

As writers, we draw from our experiences when we try to convey through our writing, and the rest we imagine or draw from observation; we try to do the best we can when portraying what we have not experienced. Many times, we place ourselves in those situations fictionally, and try to understand or visualize the array of emotions surrounding a particular situation. At other times, inspiration seems to take our hand and guide us in our writing. We try our best, and as writers that is all we can do, but I can say with certainty that our writing will only match the synergy of our experience.

On Faith and Doing

The cloud

Photo by M.A.D.

 

Faith – Confident belief. Trust. (American Heritage Dictionary)

Doing – To perform or execute. To fulfill; complete. To bring about. To put into action. (American Heritage Dictionary)

 

Our faith is tested many times. We come out stronger or confused, in doubt, and/or unable to advance. When we want or need to do something¬† we’ve planned, and we proceed with confident caution, that is the easy way. However, many times we have to proceed by faith, not knowing if the best plan that we made will work; that is, if the circumstances permitted planning. Otherwise, we must push through confusion, doubt, and even chaos, with only a little light ahead of us, barely visible – our bit of faith illuminating the way. We must do by faith.

Becoming petrified by the fear that confusion and chaos bring will hinder advance and growth. We may become stuck or a situation will turn worse. It is best to do by faith than succumb to fear. In any case life goes on, for better or for worse. When in doubt, act in faith.

Thoreauvian Living – Is it for you? On less is more.

Henry David Thoreau – His philosophy is best described as a praise to simplicity, nature, and in more common terms, “less is more.” To live in truth and authenticity.

It is in our nature to search for truth, our truth, and it varies from person to person. When we find it (or think we do) we hold on to it despite social trends or what people may think. I see a movement of many souls wanting to return to simplicity and to nature. Whether they go back to farming, move to the country, embrace tiny-house living, or sell everything and make RV traveling/living their new surroundings and lifestyle, they are all yearning for the same – the sweetness of a simple life.

Many times, a catalyst in people’s lives causes the longing, followed by action and change. The person who has not gone through this process might not comprehend, or think of it as crazy, but only one who knows finds meaning in his/her new truth. It takes simplicity of heart and freedom of mind to embrace your truth, whether you find it in a cabin in the woods or in a penthouse on Fifth Avenue, Manhattan.

To each its own, and to all, truth in being.

Crescent Moon, Rising Sun – On little by little, one step at a time.

This post is a reflection on my experience. At one point, I had become fully engaged in multiple goals, personal and professional – maybe too many. I had always been a dreamer, and the type of person who felt guilty if there was a slot of time not filled with something productive. Multitasking sounded more than acceptable, and I engaged in it as well. It was right of my alley. I put a lot of pressure on myself over the past 10 years to accomplish everything that I thought “was due.” Some things I did not accomplish, some I started and decided to stop because the time was not right for them to be fruitful, and others, I decided to put aside for good. At times, it felt as if I was swimming at high-speed not to miss the boat that was already gone, or so I thought. I tried to catch up with my dreams and with time. It was a matter of time before the crash.

I had to learn to slow down and live one day at a time. I discarded the word multitasking and adopted a new philosophy of living – one thing at a time, one day at a time. I stopped blaming “others and the situation” and accepted the truth – that I am the only one in control, and the one who sets the pace. I had to go back and retrain myself in various areas. I also learned to depend more on God and less on my vision of things, although I don’t consider myself a religious person in the popular meaning of the word. This process strengthened my faith and patience. I saw that I could express more little by little, step by step. I enjoy the task at hand more, and am able to widen my vision; I see more now. I trust God’s process more.

I was a heavy planner and I thrived on multiple lists both short-term and long-term, many times as far as a 10-year plan. I am not suggesting that planning is bad, on the contrary, it is healthy; obsessive or too much structured planning is not the best choice. I had to understand that life’s plans can change in a split of a second – it is called life. Life doesn’t get in the way, it just is. It is called living. I plan now for living, not for the sake of achieving. Some of you might argue that part of living is achieving, and I agree. I say that achieving without living is pointless.

Now, I look at a crescent moon slowly gaining its fullness. I look at the rising sun after the darkness, and I know that all happens one day at a time. All.

 

Sunrise Souls – the poem

sunrise soulscover2

SUNRISE SOULS

 

The Dinorah Chronicles came to an end with Sunrise Souls. This last book wrapped up the ongoing story; however, each book was written in a way that you do not need to read the first one to know what is going on. Each book stands for itself. Here’s a little bit about Sunrise Souls,

As the Sunrise Souls awake to embrace the decoding of a new dawn – a new era for Earth and its inhabitants – a prophecy unveils. Dinorah Sandbeck, half-human and half-Anarth, leads the decoding of a new Earth. As it was written, “Sunrise Souls, embrace your essence, and in doing so, fulfill the prophecy of a new dawn, the birth of the New Earth – 000.

I would like to dedicate this post to the Anarths, characters who I fell in love with while writing them. At the end of the book, I dedicated a poem to these characters. It is written from an Anarth’s point of view. I would like to share it in this post.

Anarth Song

Among humanity I dwell

I carry the burden of Cain

His legacy divided men

Earth enveloped in a blanket of pain.

One life to live a thousand times

Serving the good of humankind

To protect and serve, no end in sight

As long as Earth gives birth to right.

 

God’s seed, the righteous one

The good, the pure, the kind of heart

For it I fight, a thousand times

Eternal battle of flesh divine.

 

Divine and soul of flesh becomes

Thrown into Earth, duty my sword

For humankind the oath I take

I give my life, my sword, eternal fate.

 

Will I write about Anarths again? I don’t know the answer. It is their call.

New Pastures

It feels nice to be back. A year + has gone by since we moved to Virginia. It is very lovely here, and we are enjoying new beginnings. During those months, we worked from sun to sun to restore our 1910 farmhouse – an immense endeavor. We stayed with my sister and b-i-l, and traveled over an hour each way every day.¬† We still have tons of work to do but we were able to move in during the first seven months. We kept as many as the original features as we could, and strived to achieve a rustic early american look. I think we achieved what we set out to do. In two words – thrilling exhaustion. Will we ever attempt this again? I doubt it, but one never knows, so I’ll leave it at that. For some of you who might be thinking of undertaking a similar endeavor, this is what I learned.

  • It is more work than you will ever imagine.
  • It takes more time and money than budgeted.
  • You will drive each other crazy to the point of no return at times.
  • Sometimes, you will doubt your strength to keep on going, but somehow you do go on.
  • Expect the unexpected.
  • Be prepared to handle good moments, somber moments, crazy moments, sad moments, angry moments, and happy moments.
  • You need to pat each other on the back to keep going.
  • When you see the results of your hard work, it pays, and it feels very good.
  • You must have patience, endurance, and vision.

During that time we were offline and totally disconnected. I found that I enjoyed the time away from all of it. During my free moments I managed to write The Five-dollar Miracle the old-fashioned way – via pen and paper. It is in the first stage of revision and editing, and I hope that by the end of this year it will be published. This one is a bit different from my previous works.

To all of you who followed this blog and read some of the older posts while I was away, I thank you.

On Death

I am fascinated by Death, as a character. I like Death as a neutral being, for lack of a better fitting word. Death has been misrepresented, or ill-presented. Death is the elephant in the room; no one wants to think or talk about it. When we think of Death, we do it in a negative way. Death is unfair, scary, sad, a punishment, evil … . We try to cheat Death; we want to live as long as we can. We become healthier, exercise, eat well, take vitamins … just to live longer, to avoid meeting with Death. We cling to youth in many ways (creams, Botox, plastic surgery …) because by growing old we think we become closer to Death, and that scares us.

In movies, the hero cheats Death, saves others, and beats Death. We dream of vampires, eternal life, and we rather turn into a werewolf than face Death. It is only when the Vampire or the Werewolf (or any other creature) represents the threat of death that we destroy it, and we cheer – ah, we are safe. We put people on Death row for a long time, as if the wait prolongs the suffering.¬† Death doesn’t even have a face; it is represented as the ripper covered in a black-gray tunic who appears unexpected, uninvited, carrying its weapon of destruction. Even in suicide, the person does not embrace Death; instead, the person escapes life. However, Death doesn’t destroy at will (but we do); it doesn’t seem to have one. Death doesn’t take lives by choice (we do), and it doesn’t seem to enjoy its duty. Death only is, and it is always on time.

So this morning, as I pondered on this character who is so misunderstood and hated, I wrote Death a poem. Here it is, and I hope you enjoy it or at least that it gives you a different perspective.

Requiem
I do not belong
Nor do I seek.
Nor Heaven nor Hell
I wander the Earth.

Who am I?
Human at best?
Hint of divine?
Of evil a speck?

Of grace and humankind
The Earth is tired.
The ice a blanket throws
Blue hearts, frozen desires.

Divine, Evil, Human, morass.
Tired Earth Dooms Day awakes.
Melting core, frozen bones, at last
The apocalyptic boom, the end.

Nor who, nor what
Serving the times, perpetual task.
No will, no cry
Angel of Death, on time I am.